Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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