your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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