dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
