you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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