You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
