I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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