i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
