She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
