I wish my penis had an off switch
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
