Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you never un-have a 4some
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
