This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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