Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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