They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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