i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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