Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize