good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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