you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
