She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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