Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Soap is not a condiment
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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