Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
