why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
