im having a threesome with these popsicles
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
