dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize