Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
