Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize