Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize