I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
