put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
