He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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