And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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