i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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