no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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