3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Porn is love you can see.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
