Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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