So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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