Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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