how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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