Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
