is your mom at the bar?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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