so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
well most of my day revolves around power hour
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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