a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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