shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
