"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
