4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize