Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
