I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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