I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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