I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
