If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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