that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
