Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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