I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you win again, gameday.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
