When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
