Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
