i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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