Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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