oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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