You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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