I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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