im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just gift wrapped bread.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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