I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It was confusing and full of hummus
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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