i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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