It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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