did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
home. puking in laundry basket.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
